nutritionbitsandbobs

There are so many things I do now that I swore I would never do.  Here are a few things I do that will make my RD friends cringe:

1. If my toddler refuses to eat the healthy food I’ve made, I make him something else.  I swore I would NEVER do this!!

2. I use food as a reward.  That’s right, my friends.  I’m not proud.  But, gummies get my kid to use the potty and DumDums make haircuts tolerable like nothing else!

3. I buy unhealthy snacks just to make my step children like me more.  It doesn’t work but, I do it anyway.

4. If I make food for other people, I NEVER use low-fat ANYTHING because I want them to love my cooking. Deceitful, I recognize.

5. I didn’t throw any Halloween candy away this year.

6. I make fattening, low-fiber muffins once a week because the kids love them so much.

7. I put butter on everything.  I put it in oatmeal, scrambled eggs, on toast, vegetables and even on crackers.  Yep!  I’m ashamed to admit, a favorite late night snack that I share with my family is fatty, salty margarine on greasy Club crackers…this is starting to get ugly.

8. I put mayonnaise on grilled cheese, as though grilled cheese that I have toasted in a pan with BUTTER needs any more fat!

9. I let my 2 year old drink Sprite!  Oh God, forgive me; it was only once and he shared with his sister.

10. Sometimes I make processed cheese food macaroni for my kids for lunch because it’s sooooooo good!

11. If someone spills a whole bag of pretzels on the floor, I put them back in the bag.  I mean, gross Kelly; it’s not like your floor is clean.

12. This is the worst for me.  An act of selfishness.  I order chicken nuggets and mac and cheese for my kid at restaurants because although the kid’s menus are never healthy, they are cheap and I don’t want to share my food.

I feel as though I should be stripped of my license to practice as a dietitian.  Some of the dietitians I’ve worked with in the past would never even let a cookie pass their lips, let alone 4 Oreos…dipped in chocolate, then rolled in butter and topped with heavy cream and Red #40 sprinkles… Don’t actually make that. That recipe doesn’t exist and kinda sounds gross.

I’m going to go sit in a dark corner now and think about what I’ve done.

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